Sunday, January 18, 2009

The benefits and irritations of being tall.

Benefit: You can reach products placed on the top shelf with ease.
Irritation: You have random strangers tap your shoulder to help them grab products place on the top shelf.

Benefit: You can see above others in a crowd.
Irritation: People behind you are PISSED and tell you to "crouch down."

Benefit: You're tall! You got the gene that didn't make you a short person!
Irritation: Your whole life you hear, "MY GOD YOU'RE TALL," or some variation thereof.

Benefit: Being tall makes you look slender.
Irritation: Being tall means you will never, ever have clothes that actually fit you the way they were meant to fit by the designer. And it'll take you at least 2x as long to find them, and 4x as much if you want anything lengthened.

Benefit: You could ride roller coasters when you were practically just out of the womb.
Irritation: A whole new element of terror comes into play while riding Space Mountain, Millennium Force, or the like, thinking that you are too tall, the lap bar isn't adequately locked in due to how far your knees are folded and shoved into your chest, and you think your neck will be severed like the last day of a chicken in a chicken factory (ew.).

Benefit: You can see above the steering wheel.
Irritation: No car made anywhere in the world really comfortably fits anybody in the 6 ft+ range. No matter what the commercials tell you, your head will always brush the roof of the interior or worse. And the "seat back" position no longer is a "pimped style" seating position, it's simply the position the seat must be placed in order for you to have knee room and enough space between the wheel and your chest so that in the off-chance that some freak accident should occur, your body won't be blown through the back seat by a "life saving air bag deployment system."

Benefit: You're a tall female.
Irritation: You're a tall female - leaving you with approximately 15% of the gene pool to choose from when it comes to picking a life partner, unless you're comfortable with feeling like you're making someone else your bitch.
oh yeah, baby. You know you want a hunk of THIS.

Like I said. There's a lot of irritations and hinderances that come along with being TALL. And I'm not even that tall when you really think about it. Oh well. Such is life.

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