The personalities of Jax.

Lady walks in, arm full of magazines. Long skirt. Knit cap. Jacket. Pink lipstick. No odor. I’d almost think she was normal, minus the mega-waddle she walked with.

And then she opened her mouth.

Me: Good afternoon, how can I help you? (All smiles.)
Her: I’m good! I’m good. Is this a travel agency?
Me: No, this is an advertising agency.
Her: Oh. So if I want my business to do advertising, I come to you. (Moves in closer to counter)
Me: Yes.
Her: What’s the price? (Closer still.)
Me: Well it depends on your whole package. It’ll depend on your ad campaign, your media buys, the whole thing.
Her: So give me a range. What’s the prices? Doncha have a sheet? (…….closer)
Me: It depends on what elements you need done.
Her: SO TV COMMERCIALS? WHAT BE THE PRICE? (Leaning in so close I feel like she’s going to swallow me into the GIANT, GAPING HOLE THAT IS HER NON-EXISTENT FRONT TOOTH.)
Me: It would depend on if you want local or cable TV, the channel, the time frame, the program………
Her: SO YOU DON’T HAVE NO PRICES? NO PRICE SHEET?
Me: (Looks over at Mark Berman…. Yes, I was not the only one in the lobby watching this shit go down.) You can take Jim’s card to talk to h……………..
Her: FO GET IT! (FLAILING her arm in the air, practically tossing the magazines and hitting me in the face, waddling off….. taking a full, and fully awkward, 30 seconds to make it to the door and exit, then stares through the window as she walks away and Mark laughs at her through the glass).

F my life. I should put this shit on that Web site……….. www.FMyLife.com .