The personalities of Jax.

Lady walks in, arm full of magazines. Long skirt. Knit cap. Jacket. Pink lipstick. No odor. I’d almost think she was normal, minus the mega-waddle she walked with.

And then she opened her mouth.

Me: Good afternoon, how can I help you? (All smiles.)
Her: I’m good! I’m good. Is this a travel agency?
Me: No, this is an advertising agency.
Her: Oh. So if I want my business to do advertising, I come to you. (Moves in closer to counter)
Me: Yes.
Her: What’s the price? (Closer still.)
Me: Well it depends on your whole package. It’ll depend on your ad campaign, your media buys, the whole thing.
Her: So give me a range. What’s the prices? Doncha have a sheet? (…….closer)
Me: It depends on what elements you need done.
Her: SO TV COMMERCIALS? WHAT BE THE PRICE? (Leaning in so close I feel like she’s going to swallow me into the GIANT, GAPING HOLE THAT IS HER NON-EXISTENT FRONT TOOTH.)
Me: It would depend on if you want local or cable TV, the channel, the time frame, the program………
Her: SO YOU DON’T HAVE NO PRICES? NO PRICE SHEET?
Me: (Looks over at Mark Berman…. Yes, I was not the only one in the lobby watching this shit go down.) You can take Jim’s card to talk to h……………..
Her: FO GET IT! (FLAILING her arm in the air, practically tossing the magazines and hitting me in the face, waddling off….. taking a full, and fully awkward, 30 seconds to make it to the door and exit, then stares through the window as she walks away and Mark laughs at her through the glass).

F my life. I should put this shit on that Web site……….. www.FMyLife.com .

Successful weekend, hello February!

So great weekend! Friday went out with Sarah for some drinks at London Bridge and Burrito Gallery (which has Obie on tap, WOOT!). Chatted and had some good convo just regarding life, relationships, work, and the like. It was so good to talk to someone in this town and have my own friend... though we admitted to each other that we're the only social outlet that we have for each other, and we rarely have a chance to talk at work.

Saturday was 18 (well...16) holes of golf. It was fantastic - great shots, good beer, good people, good fun... I can't believe that I actually hit the ball straight after not touching my clubs in months. Apparently I'm getting good at flexing my beer muscle...because I never used to be able to drink and golf at the same time.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam..."

Today was doggie dog park, grocery shopping, cleaning a bit, and making our fried food. I don't even want to talk about the fried food fiasco... because everyone is in aching pain from the food that we all ate. Gross. But it was nice being social and going out for the super bowl game :)

This is the most outrageous episode of The Office, ever. Oh boy.

Things that bother, irritate, & piss me off.

• Debt, will always be #1 til it's gone

• Slow computers, namely MINE.
• Writing something with pen, then moving the sheet of paper and getting a blob on your finger, or better yet, the perfect transparency of what you wrote tatted onto your appendage.
• Harassing homeless people (yep, I just went there. Don't care. I'm tired of it. And I'm especially tired of their hootin, hollarin, whistling, and uncompromisable banter about how I look.)
• People peeing publicly in downtown Jacksonville, Florida. Or peeing in any area that is not a room with a pot in it, for that matter. Just because you have a weiner doesn't mean the whole world needs to see it as you relieve yourself. I've got a vadge, you don't see me flashing it around.
• The inability to find clothes for girls & women sized over 5'5". See previous blog.
• Politics. And people who think they're hard-wired to believe in things democratically or republicanny. Get over it. It's just how you were brought up - it doesn't mean you're right.
• My general inability to find a friend in, or within 1,000 miles, of Jacksonville, Florida.

I'm not out to have a negative post today. Just a few things brought these to light today and I was beginning to lose my head.

Now onto happier things...

Oh, Chicago. We'll be home soon.

Man, I suck.

I continue to think, "hey! I'm going to post about this today!" And yet, as soon as that thought comes to mind (generally while at work), the phones instantly start ringing off the hooks and I get busy again. So alas, no blogs.

Not much today either. I'm in a semi-foul mood lately and I can't shake it. However, this is a ray of laughter on an otherwise cloudy day (what?):

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I feel like my blog is slowing down, pathetically, already. Nothing exciting has gone down these past few days :( I'm still miffed at my brother. Still haven't talked to a supposed friend. Still don't know if I'm in her wedding. Still miss everyone ridiculously too much. Still need to pay off my debts (and still haven't started my PF blog).

So for something fun to look at...


SURPRISE! That isn't the "real" inauguration!

It's LEGOS!!!!!!

I'm easily entertained.

"Here's the thing when it comes to different social and political issues. Your personal beliefs are hindering my ideal society. You take abortion and make it into your moral issue, it is anything but, its a choice for her alone, get the fuck out of her business. You still dwell on 9/11 and revenge. So someone in your family was "murdered" and you want Gitmo to remain open. Despite the constitution which states the natural laws which we "all" are entitled too. Do you even know the Bill of Rights? Forgive those who trespass on you you bigot. You think not being in Iraq counts as a loss. What the hell is it with Americans and losing? Losing, we've already lost. About $7.4 million an hour. You have screwed your and my future children for life. We want to make America strong. Wanna make it strong, build new schools, hire better teachers, help impoverished cities, invest in stem cell research, ect. it is so obvious. We can't continue this level of consumption. Why can't you see this? You might be fundie. In which case don't talk to me. I relish your individualism but I hate you when your with your pals. Think for yourself fascist. Around 11% of your countrymen, Americas children, our brothers and sisters go to bed hungry every night. Lets focus our resources in other directions. Make a stranger smile today. Breath. Being a productive member of society is more than going to your job, paying your taxes, then cracking a beer while you watch the new season of 24, or Real World. That's your world, not the real world. It is small, uninteresting, boring, and hopeless.... A F-150 pickup / assault rife is no substitute for a small prick you prick. Don't even get me started on your failed drug policies. Ron Paul, sorry to say had it right on the Robert Downey Jr. Show. Helicopter parents, STOP!!! sheltering your children. You can't get back your innocence but the world is anything but innocent. Let them learn that....."
-Nick Faccini, classmate at GVSU

Minus being angry, I mostly share in the sentiment. I'm over all of the nay-sayers (the few that are trying to bring people down from yesterdays high). Yesterday was a country of happiness. People from all over the world were coming HERE to share in this celebration saying that they're JEALOUS of NOT being an American! So shut your asses and keep your pessimism to yourself for a little while. We had 8 years to get that pissed at Bush, and with reason. Maybe Obama isn't going to fix anything, but I can't see it getting any worse. He's a good person, and for that alone, I trust his judgment.

Maybe all for the day? Who knows.

I WANNA MARRY BARRY!

I love me some Barack Obama!

He's just wonderful. He's *OFFICIALLY* President of the United States - and I've literally never felt more excited, patriotic, or just plain proud of our country. I was in tears watching him being sworn in, and just seeing him standing there with his beautiful family is just enough to make your heart burst.

Today is a good day, America. Bravo.